A question for the public

I have been surveying people lately - can anyone think of any songs the band KISS did other than Crazy Nights and I Was Made For Loving You?

So far we have someone suggesting "Shandy" no, I don't know that one either.

Why does anyone care about Kiss then? hmmm? Riddle me that

A link

I love reading notes other people leave in books; the next logical step is reading other people's mail.

Psycho

I was desperate to escape the chemical stench in my flat so I went out to find something to do. The cat first tried to kill me by getting underfoot, as it always does, on the stairs. Stupid animal, if I collapse on top of it it is not going to survive. Then it decided it would be a fun game to follow me as I went to see if anything exciting was going on in the neighbourhood. Well, there were exciting things going on, but I didn't know any of the people in the flats. So I ended up taking the cat for a walk. I think I lost her about Brown street, and as I unfortunately failed to find anything interesting, I bet her home. How sad is that? At least I don't have a pink collar.
Anyway, i wonder if the cat tries to trip me on the stairs because she knows she could eat my carcass for weeks?

Smells

Smells BAAADDDD like a lynx factory exploded in my flat. Not even the Prophet Song is taking my mind off it.

Revelations

Sometimes I wonder about what people tell me in passing - why reveal so much in such seemingly small comments? I wonder if they tell me things because I pose no threat; no matter what happens I am more pathetic than they could ever be, so it is harmless telling me minutiae.
Well, at any rate, I have ended my day with lowered social standing, but much to contemplate.

Wasting time

About 7 minutes until the opening begins. I worked half an hour late and then skulked on through to the newly freed up computers - people do like to leave on time here. I am beginning to wonder if I would have been better just to go home and catch up on sleep, which is really indicative of how boring I am.
But if I do not go to the opening, I will never look at the exhibition at all even though it is in the same building. It's just one of those things, like not visiting people who live around the corner.
It appears the exodus is occuring. I must prepare myself for forced chit chat and the glow of pride I may feel when I recognise one of the supports I made.

Sharing

Sharing workspaces is the devil. I can't stand having to put up with other people's crap, the giant jotter pads that take up most the space, just small enough to leave an uneven surface. The "pamper me" anti rsi crap that also takes up space. The twee ornaments. It makes me very angry, in a different way to how I get angry about my own crap.
Today, for instane, I not only had to remove all that OOS paraphanalia, I had to give up the chair. Evidently no-one gives a flying continental about my impending back problems.
Bah! I should not talk to anyone in the morning, I am never in a good mood.

When I am king

Christmas music will be banned in public places except on the 24th and 25th of December, and that is a major concession. I don't care what you do in the privacy of your own home, but I don't want to be passively killed by your damn Christmas cheer.
Its bad enough having to see the creepy christmas window paintings around the civic centre/ library. I mean, on our front doors Santa and Rudolph are giving each other the glad eye. And they have been doing so since mid November.
Why doesn't the council just cut to the chase and not take the bloody decorations down if they love Christmas so much? That's really put Dunedin on the map.

Gossip folks

The 5th floor where I currently work is abuzz. One of the staff members is due to become a father any day now. Well that sounds stupid, as soon as she is knocked up your a father of a sort, aren't you? So suffice to say the sprog is due. Overdue. Tardy even.
I work in a place dominated by female employees, many of them with children old enough so that they have forgotten just how repulsive babies really are. So you will not be suprised to find that they are voracious in their desire to hear more about the imminent bundle of joy. It's bad enough just overhearing it.
I rather feel sorry for the guy actually, he can't even get a phone call without being harangued, and every morning he must hear "Oh, what, you're here again" variations ad nauseum. I fear one day he might snap and do someone an injury - who could be that patient in the face of such repetitive jocularity?
Clearly, the way to be popular in a workplace is to get baking that family.
Am I buying into the fascination by posting?
Will I begin updates with (as someone I know put it) the bubble has/ has not burst?

Kulcha (not the band)

Just puttin' the word out that there is an opening on the 3rd floor tomorrow. 5.30 I think. I wondered how exclusive it was because there are actual invites and they say RSVP. You will be wondering how I got my grimy cheap hands on one? It comes to me automatically because I work in the bindery. Some of the black things the books are resting upon, they carry my grubby fingerprints. Honestly, the number of marks I leave when taping and book guarding books, I am certain that in the future someone will be able to harvest my DNA and recreate me. Only it will not be like me, because it will not have been formed with the same beautiful and twisted life experiences that make me the dried up shrivelled husk of an individual I am today.

Just keeps rollin' along

In honour of our recent visitation, I bring you Kamahl.



He performed in Dunedin on Tuesday, all the classics including the perennial favourite 'Old Man River'. I particularly like this photo, taken from his official website (riddled with typos), even though he is not wearing his more flamboyant kaftans or nehru jackets. I like this picture because it is of Kamahl and Johnny Farnam.

It's like an Ocker overload.

Quiz master

I have been doing well lately, and I just have to gloat. I have won some sumptuous quiz prizes recently, including chocolates and wine. I hear talk of another quiz tomorrow night. Perhaps I shall go; if I don't win I can always say its about supporting charity; but really, its all about me perpetuating my champagne lifestyle on a thriftee budget. Maybe one day I will graduate to buying raffle tickets even though I don't want silly string or puzzles. Vouchers are appreciated though.

Anyway, time for me to go; duty calls. I shall drivel on more shortly.

You should all be pleased I did not moan about the awful day I had today...aaah a sweet reprieve.

King

King Oath.
See the vespa formation, see how No Doubt and other bands stole it from the ultra cool Australian band with the awesome fringes. Experience the interpretive dance! Break out the black socks and slip 'em on under tan dockers! Take a moment to enjoy the beach volleyball scene - Panoramic! I'm not even going to go into the piggyback riding, add your own damn captions. Suffice to say, isn't it funny how the lead singer always seems to think that they are God's gift. This guy, rather like Adam Levigne from Maroon 5, just can't wait to slip into something a little more scanty.
Moving right along.
Feel the passion and sing along with the chorus, thoughtfully made simple for the masses. All together now!

200 posts calls for HOT GOSSIP & Kenny Everett

Can't you just imagine them all standing on their marked spots, until someone shouts ok guys! Gyrate! Ah, Kenny, RIP

Space 1999

On my viewing schedule for this weekend, the first series of Space 1999. I am fully prepared to be thrilled. As thrilled as I will be by my DVD of Randall and Hopkirk Deceased. I just wish that the library would acquire more of this classic science fiction and well, BBC, material. My knowledge of american tv from the same era is patchy, but I expect they had some great stuff as well.
So Dunedinites, get to it, start writing suggestions. You all want to see:
-Robin of Sherwood/Robin Hood
-The Tomorrow People
-The Persuaders
-The Professionals
-The Avengers
-Space 1999
-Buck Rogers
-Randall and Hopkirk Deceased
-Blake's 7
-Adam Adamant
-Edge of Darkness
and maybe we should get Voyagers! from stateside. If we have to forgo some episodes of the Gilmore Girls, I'm OK with that.

Just in, Justin

A colleague has gone to Auckland to watch Justin Timberlake gyrate on stage. I was compelled to post about it for two reasons: so I could use the word colleague and sound like I was professional, and so I could post this picture.

Grammar nazis unite

On the cover of a Douglas Kennedy book I was bookguarding yesterday:
one of the "most compulsive novels I have read" - this from a book review in a respected paper. Great, an OCD tome.
Clearly society is in decline if that is the praise puff piece that made it to the cover.

You'll always find me next to the snacks at parties

As a result I get stuck in the most hideous conversations. Last night I was at a studio opening. Natually I did not know many people there, but there was someone with an amazing tartan country and western shirt, and ample refreshments. After drifting for an hour or so, happy in my own vacantness I was accosted and introduced to someone I have been avoiding meeting for, well, years. You may feel like you know people because you have seen them around forever, but once the magic of the formal introduction has taken place youare stuck. Whenever they see you they might come up and strike up a conversation.
So I did the polite thing and conversed with them, not wanting to let on too much about myself. Oh no, my life is utterly tedious, in a rather finite tone. They did not get the hint and tried to jolly me along with a "Everyone has something exciting" line, then launched into some discourse about how it is religion or morality that stops people having the exciting lives they might have. Patently ridiculous, especially in a society like New Zealand. How many of you all think about the afterlife when deciding to do or not do something? Its all about social conformity & repercussions. I was delighted when someone else came up and began talking, so I could switch my attentions to eavesdropping on the exciting dramas everyone is making up.
Then I heard the dreaded mention of my name from those vile, vile lips and I had to rush from the building because I could not endure more inanity from someone I instinctively recoil from. Besides, the numbers were thining out and my hovering over the snack bar was becoming more obvious.

CAUTION

Take me anywhere twice

Once to apologise profusely.
I really put my foot in it yesterday, albeit in a kind of amusing way. One of my flatmates had a friend over, and somehow the conversation turned to comics. The guest, apparently, is a comic artist and I made some blisteringly throwaway remark about the awful cartoons in the critic, thinking of the efforts I have seen from a few years back. Before I had finished saying it I thought - oh no, that was stupid, Dunedin is a small place, where would you be published - and sure enough the guest draws cartoons for the critic. I can only be thankful that whatever evil being prompted me to start with that can of worms didn't make me go too far into it.

But I stand by my statement - the old cartoons in the critic were bloody terrible.

So I am currently in the process of rationalising my lapse in manners. I've only got one piece of leverage; said guest, a couple of days ago lavishly slagged of Melissa Joan Hart for having a bung eye. That's my defect dammit, and I take offence for the clan! So consider us even.

And possibly sew my mouth shut, no good ever comes of me talking.

Advertising

I am being affronted by a facebook ad, telling me I can fit those skinny jeans? Um, NO! Especially not if it wants me to wear them with stillettos.

Boom!

I included extra information at the bottom - like the related lyrics. How does Cliff Richard's Mistletoe and Wine relate to this? Unless it is a song we would also like to forget

Yo back up now and give a brother room
The fuse is lit and Im about to go boom
Mercy mercy mercy me
My life is a cage but on stage Im free
Hyped up syched up ready for wilin
Standing in a crowd of girls like an island
I see the one I wanna sic come here cutie
I flip em around and then I work that booty
Work the body work work the body
Slow down girl youre bout to hurt somebody
Oh and yo lets get just one thing clear
Theres only one reason why I came here
Ya really done want me to tig-a-tig-a-tig-a tell ya wassup (go)
Ya really done want me to tig-a-tig-a-tig-a tell ya wassup (go)
Ya really done want me to tig-a-tig-a-tig-a tell ya wassup (go)
I came here tonight to hear the crowd go

Chorus:
Boom! shake-shake-shake the room
Boom! shake-shake-shake the room
Boom! shake-shake-shake the room
Tic-tic-tic-tic boom!

Well yo are yall ready for me yet
(pump it up prince)
Well yo are yall ready for me yet
(pump it up prince)
Well yo are yall ready for me yet
(pump it up prince)
Well here I go here I go here I here I go
Yo
Dance in the aisles when the prince steps to it
The rhyme is a football yall and I went and threw it
Out in the crowd and yo it was a good throw
How do I know? because the crowd went hoooo
In response to the way that I was kicking it
Smooth and individual
Rhymes always original
Like the dr. jekyl man and this is my hyde side
I am the driver and youre on a rap ride
So fellas (yeah)
Are yall wit me (yeah)
I said fellas (yeah)
Are yall wit me (yeah)
Why dont you tell the girls what yall wanna do
Ya wanna ooh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh--ooooh
Thats right yo and Im in the flow
So pump up the volume along with the tempo
I want everybody in the house to know
I came here tonight to hear the crowd go

Chorus

Pump it pump it come on now
Repeat 5x

Yeah, come on now

Chorus

Here I go
The the f-f-f-f-fresh p-p-p-prince is who I am
So tell my mother that I never wrote a whack jam
But some times I get n-nervous and start to stutter
And I f-fumble every word for word I utter
So I just try to ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chill
But it gets worse-a but worse-a but-but-but worse still
I need the c-c-c-crowd to k-k-k-kick into it
They help me calm down and I can get through it
So higher higher
Get ya hands to the ceiling
Let it go yall dont fight the feeling
Mic in a strangle hold sweat pourin
And like jordan yo Im scoring
Yeah thats right yall and I am in the flow
So pump up the volume along with the tempo
Many have died tryin to stop my show
I came here tonight to here the crowd go

Chorus


* Will Smith lyricsFresh Prince of Bel-air
* Just The Two of Us
* Men in Black
* Miami
* Wild Wild West

* related lyrics
Cliff Richard
+ Mistletoe & Wine
* David Guetta
+ Just A Little More Love (Wally Lopez Mix)
* Michael Jackson
+ Heal The World
* Boney M.
+ Brown Girl in The Ring
* Black Crowes
+ Thorn in My Pride
* Wyclef Jean
+ Perfect Gentleman
* Bob The Builder
+ Mambo no 5

Affirmation is good

you post the most redundant little thing, and there is a triumphant message "your post was successful!" Well, thanks very much.
I fought my way through the flames and rescued the cooking - perfectly done, I was possibly communing with the yam hive mind.
When it's sunny I usually feel like I must achieve lots of things; nice day, light, could go places. Instead I was working & in a totally vitriolic mood, a distressingly common combo lately. Resurfacing on facebook does not improve my frame of mind...damn photogenic people & their fantabulous lives. All going places, been lots of places, even down to the ethnicity guide; bloody exotic flowers listing every skerrick of international blood that they might have, unto the 72nd generation. Its terribly embarrassing to say I'm a boring old New Zealander. I can't even get into that bullshit "I have Irish ancestry, and English, and Scottish - who'd of thought, they all argued so much" schtick... there is something hideous about turning oneself into a veritable U.N. or at least commonwealth; where presumably ones ancesters passed the peace pipe and staged a love-in. How having multicultural relations garners one such credibility I don't know; yay you, you done good. I feel the mellow sun of Greece just looking at the pallor of your 64th Athenian skin. Oh! Your great great uncle Monty once went on a hunting trip and he was carried by natives? No wonder you have such natural rhythm. I expect you are an excellent shot too.
Of course, there is the revulsion of the hundreds of friends people seem to have on facebook. I almost begin to feel unpopular, couldn't possibly be any problem with my personality...I'm just exclusive. I'm also a reductionist, and I diminish where other people talk things up. I'm not good at mutual admiration societies either.
Looking into the crystal ball, I see an amazing future of crap for myself, with these marketable skills.
I book guarded a book on karma today, I wonder what I did in a past life?
Much as I would like to say I was Aleister Crowley my personality and the 1000 or so other claimants make that one unlikely. How about Keith Richards? He might as well be already dead.

Apathy rul

Its been a pretty warm day here in Dunedin, well warm by our standards. So warm that I even thought about changing to a summe coat, and as I heaved myself up the hill, no coat at all. I quickly dismissed that idea as being indecent. People like myself ought to stay shrouded.
Before I get really launched into a maundering story I suppose I should check on the vegetables I am roasting downstairs. Don't cry too much if I incinerate the house,you'll know I brought the flames upon myself.

Puff pieces and tragedy

I was reading the back of a biography on Elizabeth I today, and one unfortunate writer said something like "a touching portrait that is unforgettable and very touching". Thats some hard hitting journalism right there, thanks A.L.Rowse.

The tragedy?

Robert Jordan, cut down, hesitate to say in his prime though

Cuts both ways, chop suey etc etc

The important thing to remember when using the mighty electric guillotine is that, while you are never able to chop your fingers off, you are able to crush them. It happened once apparently, only the bindery manager described it as more of an "explosion". Watch out for some messy typing in the future then.

Custodial Services

Its been a while since I posted, work, school work and other forms of domestic servitude have been getting me down. Little of interest happens to me, and I am not always energetic enough to make stuff up. I have had a whole weekend off, to catch up on things like posting here, and I have done pretty much nothing, except buy christas presents (scary down town) and throw out some stuff, but not nearly enough.
So, maybe everyone should e-mail their tales of adventure and life; I'll escape my subsitance vicariously.

Oh, actually, I threw a jug of water at the cat, that was funny.