Don't you bring Free Bird into this

Thank you so much, something awful, for filling a void I didn't even realise existed in my life.

Rachel rides again

She's made it onto Go Fug Yourself! Good, good... soon she will reascend the dizzying heights she reached with the Stacey's Mom video clip.

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Maybe they don't believe after all - or maybe they do? Or maybe I am just clutching at straws.

I like my story better anyway. Besides, if you are going to have science in your religion's title people expect to see some progressive thinking.

What if I started the Presbyterian Scientologists?

I was actually looking for the video article on the Russian president's pecs

But I found this, which is just as trashy, but not as funny. Enjoy.

Currently watching

Children of the Stones.



Lord knows I have suggested the lbrary should aquire this and other classic titles but they won't listen. Perhaps I shall emigrate to be closer to the BBC?

Hello Mr Dynix, going down?

Work is hellish today, the library database/catalogue system is down. PC Reliance is not much use & worst of all, we can't even check any books in. It is going to be NASTY tomorrow. What a shame I am working.

Whither?

I am terribly bored and sick of Dunedin. Where would be a nice place to visit? Bear in mind I'm not fluent in any other languages and my probable solution to the speech barrier would be to talk progressively louder and Louder and LOUDER as if that will aid communication.
Also, I get sunburnt.
I saw a book about Birmingham that made it look really glamourous...

So, what's this about a bus service makeover?

Word on the street is that the Dunedin City Buses are going to seeing some changes. I have some trepidation about this; obviously we are intended to read te article, think that buses will be newer and run more frequently, then cheer the council heartily.
I will believe it when I see it. More likely we will get a few more second hand buses with marginal safety ratings; and more semi psychotic busdrivers to match them. You guys know who you are; getting a $20 note might be irritating but not THAT outrageous. Also, it helps to get to bus stops on time, not speed off early. I have a special shout out to the St Clair bus drivers too - you can travel alone; you don't need to amass in packs of 3 (does this tip us off to some primal urge to hunt in teams; if one driver misses someone the other will surely get him or her?).
Some drivers are nice, its true & it has been a long time since I caught a bus. I just remember such greatest hits *tee hee hee* as the collision with that tourist a few years ago. My favourite, and possibly your new favourite, is the bus driver who on attempting to pull into the curb demolished the timetable sign. Naturally he had to race away in shame and embarassment, without stopping.

Toni, how can I get your power?

Today Toni Marsh has been in good form. I did not really watch the weather today, but I heard enough to realise she intimated weather patterns were caressing the side of the country, and later on some showers would tickle coastal regions.

These are by no means the worst innuendos she has perpetrated, but it's good to know that she is keeping her hand in, so to speak.

What's that? I can get this lap dance here for free?

Caught at a strip club after a heavy night of drinking, possibly forcibly removed from the venue for inappropriate behaviour. Well I never. I can't decide if this will damage Kevin Rudd's ratings, or improve them. The late night news suggested that it showed he was human and fallible, which will endear him to the public. I reckon it would just be pillocks thinking he's a stud though, and wishing they could go out partying with him - especially if other tax payers could pay the bill.

What a guy!

I still reckon Winston could outlast him, because deep down I don't think Kev has the funk.

More action than you could firmly shake a stick at...scroll down extravaganza

I know I have posted a lot of images lately, but I want to share the epic journey that has been my quest for a desktop picture. It's important to get the right image, and I have another worthy contender. An image that celebrates some of the finest B grade action stars of the 80s in all their oiled beauty. How could the world fail to be safe in the clammy, slightly greasy hands of these testosterone pumped demigods?

You want to know why aliens haven't invaded earth yet? (sorry Christian Scientists, I don't think they have) It's all because of meatbags like these. Hubba.

Also, I like the way the picture of Chuck proves he is more than just an all beef patty, he's literate too!



The image is also a portal to the most fabulous 80s action guide on the net; if you happen to visit Ruthless Reviews make sure you suggest they review Highlander for their guide. It has to happen, it's only a matter of time until it reaches its rightful place in the canon.

Separated at birth pt 2

Tell me you don't see the resemblance! It first struck me when I was watching that magnificent video for Total Eclipse of the Heart; the drama, the billowing hair and curtains, that slight rasp in the vocals and the bewdiful choreography. Bonnie Tyler and Roger Taylor could be the same person.
The names are eerily similar too. I think there is something going on here, and I want Scoob and the gang to check it out.

Sweet procrastination, here I come

I have just been downloading Betrayal at Krondor. Now I will not need the television or a playstation to procrastinate, it is going to be all about the old school abandonwarez. I expect you all want your own copies too; I mean, who doesn't want to be all up in that Raymond E Feist shit?
Well here you all are: the game and the emulator you will probably need unless you are running some seriously old computer.
Next step after completing this game will be conquering UltimaVIII.

I feel confident that with these games I could happily go to a tropical island and stay out of that nasty nasty sunshine & happily occupied.

Insert 80s action post-mortem one liner here

because I kick arse for the lord perhaps? Especially if that arse pounding is delivered in a sweaty, homerotic fashion.

Thanks Rogernome for the ticket to great T Shirt design...

Nice

I really like the way the green of the heading sets off the photo effect on the Naked Celt's picture. What a pity it will probably not look nice with my predominant colour scheme on the computer. *sigh*

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Behold! The Naked Celt in all his majesty.

I chose to display this image small, so maybe if you squint you will miss it. I was thinking of all you people not down with the nudity. Let no-one call me inconsiderate *coff - bodyfascists*

I can't believe none of you suggested this one earlier

Roger Nome! Brooke! To post! To post!

What? One degree of separation?

Just had to bring it back to Robin of Sherwood - I noticed that the pictish druid makes an appearance in Flash Gordon.

Ah, sweet English television alumni

Or what about Kala?

She's pretty spicy...

How about this bad boy?

Sensational non?

Cue the rocky music

Unfortunately Blevis is missing in action (Washington Post cleans up a damn sight too regularly), but I will track him down and we can have a real showdown. I guess I could try to have a mash up of all the suggested images into one glorious, vomitous background...

Well fuck you too higher learning

I swear, my life has been a comedy of errors lately, so no-one should bother asking me how I am doing.
Which leads me to a digression. Why do people ask how you are when they are patently not interested? They sweep in, slam the books down, mutter something like "how's it going?" and expect that to keep relations cordial. Sometimes, for a laugh, I give them an honest reply, but you can't really do that and keep a customer service job. But it is an important lesson people should learn. Don't ask if you don't want to know. I never ask shop staff or strangers how they are doing unless I am interested enough to wait for an answer, and am going to listen to it when it is forthcoming.
Consequently I don't always ask people how they are.
This new stance has brought with it a revelation. Lately I have noticed a subgenre of these patrons, who instead of spuriously asking how I am, respond to any initial verbal cue with fine thanks. I only said "hello" people! How many of our conversations take place on autopilot? We may as well have not spoken if no-one remembers what we say.
Anyway, I should get lots of that tomorrow at work.
To return to my initial gripe - I just wanted to have a microwhinge about the online course I am doing. I sent them updated address details several times & they still contrived to send my text books to the wrong address. Consequently they are lost in the ether, I have to waste time chasing then up and I grow ever more behind in the course work - four weeks and counting. I had thought that the new tenants of my old house had burnt them in a neopagan ritual, reminiscent of Bohemian Grove, but they assure me nothing actually arrived. I think it is pretty remiss that I have to go to this effort for their incompetance. So I may just have to quit the paper - I don't see how I can catch up on all the work, and what is the point anyway? Its not going to get me anywhere & thirty years from now I will still be sneering about the world and patrons unless I get the temerity to kill myself. meh.

Damnit, it could not be easy could it?

Just when I had my perfect candidate I can't find a tolerable image. Nothing is displaying the Kurgan's majesty adequately. Maybe I will just have to move onto the Sorceress, or Brian Blessed.
Public, I need your help! Send me your image suggestions ASAP.

At present I have a picture of Divine, in tasteful black and white.

Desktop pictures

I am still looking for the ideal image for my desktop. Although I could revert back to any of my last images (Pulp fiction cover of "Take it and like it", the Shadow) I feel as if I need a change. I have been looking at pictures from film noir, and images of Ming the Merciless. Its tough finding the perfect graphic, one that will amuse and give me solace on dull days, yet spur me on to ever greater triumphs and eventual world domination.
I bet you are all wondering why Herne the Hunter and Christopher Lambert didn't feature. Well, the one is just to benevolent, and the other would probably drain my life through the monitor, supping on all those who view his image to grow his mighty forehead. In fact, if Christpher Lambert were a playstation character, his powerup would involve his forehead swelling up and him headbutting people. If I were a playstation character I would lose stamina after running 1 step, and my ultimate power hit would be creeping up on people and hitting them over the head with a bottle. But I digress.
So, no pictures of flowers or animals, and certainly no happy snaps of myself and friends in good times (What good times? It's all unremitting protestant misery dammit, and I evade photos with all the practised stealth of the occasionally hunted. Keep moving, stay safe.) But I have an idea for the perfect image. A character who tolerates no nonsense, wears really special clothing and throws babies to the dogs. In short, a man who gets things done, ruggedly.

Stay tuned for the winning image...

Don't look no farther! Baby I'm back (yeah ) I'm here to cater to you (any thing that you want me: do I'll do it)

Its been a rough couple of days, so lonely, so isolated.
My computer was in the repair shop for a short while, following a rogue installation. They didn't fix it (and charged me the princely sum of $102.50 for the experience; overcharged I might add. As the staff member remarked "We shafted you for 25c". Applaud everyone, I did not retort "just the 25c?"). So I have formatted the computer myself and reinstalled everything. These past few days I have been painstakingly fixing the settings to my liking. There are so many little things; the witchhunt to eliminate Windows Messenger, adjusting the views so I am not greeted with patronising pictures of folders and extra large writing, getting back to the minimalist black background. Now it is all details, lovely black screen, and carefree select uninstallations of windows components. I still have to choose my wallpaper - or would that be too tacky? I find a smallish picture is usually not de trop, but one has to be so careful about image choice.
To look at this typing you would think I had a refined aesthetic sense. Absolutely not, but one never knows who may be looking over one's shoulder at the screen so presentation is important. By the time you add in my spectacles, the image is of someone who is intelligent and studious. Someone responsible, trustworthy and committed to intellectual rigour. Of course that all goes by the bye when you see my $3 op shop outfits, but I try.
I've rather missed the blog anyway, it is such a procrastinatory aid. Thank goodness for playstation - even when I can't solve the world's problems by pontification, I can still save the world, one titanic button mashing battle at a time.

A celebration

I wanted to do something a little special for my 100th post, just to mark the occasion. But really, that seems silly; far better to maintain the vapid style of the other posts. So I will reserve my pithy remarks on Ki Si Ming, finding money, software installation and bastard courses I have known for later outbursts. Instead I will share something that I saw on J2 - you better believe it is our kind of music.

Bless Taylor Dayne, wherever she may be. Looking at her build, I suspect she has returned to her home planet of exceptional swimmers with mighty hair.

Film festival

Its not often that I get around to seeing movies, and my last few efforts have been redeemed by the company more than the film itself. But the film I went to see this evening did entertain me. I was also edified - did you know that Helvetica caused the Vietnam war? Nor did I.
We should all think twice before using it really.


Incidentally, Vietnam war is a misnomer. Because America lost, it should technically be termed a conflict.

Nobody likes bulimia creeping up on them

So Christina Aguilira has cancelled her concerts. Vile temptress, she betrayed me!

Vegansexuals

Flatmate is trying to tell me to write about vegansexuals. It reminds me of a repulsive sticker we used to have in my house when I was a kid: Kiss a non-smoker, taste the difference.
Its seems like another tedious variations on the bleating - no, don't even get me started ont hese tangential issues, I'll get into trouble.
I need to find a sweet safe topic that is entertaining. How difficult is that?! I might as well just go the Jilly Cooper route and jazz things up with excessive exclamation marks!! Men!!! Bless them, poor dears!!!! etc etc etc.