This is a new one

Beautiful buyer who purchased a shawl collared 1960s coat from me, won't you please send me a delivery address so that I can send away the wondrous garment?

and in a weird example of synchronisity, they just have.

Must have been the creepy feedback I placed about needing an address. But really, how often is it that the buyer slows the process down?

More links and a moan

So it isn't all shits and giggles then?
I do wonder what the story behind that was.

I'd love to hear what this guy sounds like, move over Max Raabe.

The BBC is just filled with these exciting stories, and some horrific ones, like the Jack Nicholson quote about working his animal magnetism on the laydeeze. Yes it was a joke, but still horrendous. Well I can match him for horrendousness. I have come up with a new euphemism. It all happened when I was bookguarding some more tedious books. One of them was entitled "The Wind in the Tussocks" which I thought sounded filthy. So, share and enjoy this one: "That really puts the wind up my tussocks". Evocative no?

Anyway, I have to go and swear at my trade me listings for a while now, bid damn you all!

I told you something like this would happen

Two requests for fixed price offers on auctions.
What do they think I am going to do? Drop the prices? Sheesh!

SCREW YOU TRADE ME

Oh what a delightful subject, reminiscent of Say You, Say Me by the delightful Lionel Ritchie. So what is the problem now, I hear you ask? They want $5 to list a flatmate wanted ad. It used to be free. Thanks a lot trade me, this right up there with the calculating success fee by adding in the postage charge to the sale price then taking 20%. Money grubbing bastards. I don't know about the rest of the community, but I don't get a profit from the postage so I don't see why the auction place should get a cut, unless of course they are greedy arseholes.
Oh wonderful, the news has yet another piece on technologically savvy people looking for love in technological ways. Like internet dating, or texting. Fuck off One News, Fuck off and find some real events to report on.

In brighter news, my cherry pie (haha you'll all be singing Warrant now) appears to have worked and looks very tasty indeed. MMmmmm mmmmm.

Anyway, have business to take care off. Max Raabe to disseminate, people to afflict. Still have several hours to bewail the sacrifice of my days off to volunteer work and trade me.

Bloody Tourists

All those people watching my beautiful trade me auctions, and only one of them bid.
You are all going to hell. No, you are all going to purgatory, you are going to hell if you ask me for a fixed price offer. I recall on one occasion that happened, some spangle bleating about relisting a red coat, why didn't you contact me back? (no e-mail address). The item had been listed twice and there were no bids although several watchers, I was so happy to be able to tell them that I was sick of listing it so I'd given it away. Its one of those weird things, I'd rather get no money at all and donate the item to a charity, or give it to a friend, than give someone on trade me a bargain.

Perverse, but I find trade me a combative place.

There is some shitty documentary on Nigerian scammers on tv, the scammer keeps changing his identity. I know people joke about it, but whiteys don't really think all black people look the same, just asians. Who seriously believes those e-mails anyway? If it sounds too good to be true it probably is, and all those people who go on about their amazing encounters and priveleged deals are probably embellishing.

Vindicated

I was debating with someone about the song "Have you seen her" and they pooh-poohed my claims that MC Hammer had done a version. Nu-uhh, I'm right (even if it was originally the Chi-lites).
Been short of topics to post on lately, I have been running late for days. No matter what I do I seem to be ever further behind schedule. It does not help that I hover over my trade me listings at every opportunity. Well, I can't entertain, so let the words of the master take you there.

ah yeah, I'm glad I put this tape in,
I'm just gon' cruise down the road,
look at the stars in the sky,
and drift off into the sweet memorys that I have,
of a love that my heart has been searching for,
for so long, and I know somewhere,
If I keep searching, that love I'll find,
the picture grows clearer and clearer,
from the back to the front of my mind,
and like love, a love I know I'll have,
the girl that I want, she'll be mine, she'll be fly, and it'll last,

I see her face and I can't let go,
she's in my dreams and my heart, so let me know,
(have you seen her?)
have you seen her?,
(tell me have you seen her?)
I'm looking for that love,
she's a thought and a vision in my memory,
I haven't met her, but tell me where could she be,
(have you seen her?)
have you seen her?,
(tell me have you seen her?)
I'm looking for that special love,
(love, oh love, love is a feeling that I need)
love is a feeling that the Hammer definetly needs,
(please be mine)
baby be mine,
(I need your love to make it)
I need your love to make it,
so why don't you be mine,
the search is going on,
from coast to coast,
a women for the man, who's propping the most,
(have you seen her?)
have you seen her?,
(tell me have you seen her?)
my heart is beating strong,
this love cannot be wrong,
I need her and I want her, so come on to my home,
(have you seen her?)
have you seen her?,
(tell me have you seen her?)
I'm a keep looking,
at the movies, in my car, on my stero,
at a game of Different World or the Cosby Show,
(have you seen her?)
have you seen her?,
(tell me have you seen her?)
yo veo, tell me what's up,
at the track, at the club, or out buying dub,
if you've seen her, then I'll have her, cause I'm in love,
(have you seen her?)
have you seen her?,
(tell me have you seen her?)
my heart is hurting so bad,
(love, oh love, love is a feeling that I need)
love is a feeling that I know I need,
(please be mine)
be mine baby,
(I need your love to make it)
I need your love to make it,
why don't you be mine,
(baby, be mine)
where could she be?,
at the store around the corner,
or wondering at night,
or chilling with another brother holding the mic,
(have you seen her?)
have you seen her?,
(tell me have you seen her?)
Hammer, you know I'm looking,
calling all my friends all around the place,
Guy, Lavertte, or my homey Rob Base,
(have you seen her?)
have you seen her?,
(tell me have you seen her?)
if you've peeped her out, tell me,
yo, veo on the phone,
Ted, Dre, or Ed Lover,
Fab Five, homeys won't you help a young brother,
(have you seen her?)
have you seen her?,
(tell me have you seen her?)
I got a picture in my mind,
the thought is so clear of the love I need here,
like D-B magic, and why don't you appear,
(have you seen her?)
oh baby, why don't you appear,
(tell me have you seen her?)
I can see yo' face,
I'm seeing her face, again and again,
come knocking at my door, and you know I'll let you in,
(have you seen her?)
have you seen her?,
(tell me have you seen her?)
oh, my sweet love,
searching 'round the world, what more can I say?,
the girl is hard to see like an unseen VJ,
(have you seen her? tell me have you seen her? have you seen her?)

Tha'ssum NASTY lyrics, and don't blame the misspelling on me, I just cut and pasted it.

The empire on which the sun never rises

Trade Me. I remember why I stopped listing items a while ago. It was because I was getting annoyed with people asking silly questions and expecting bargain basement prices so they could sell stuff on at their boutique stores. And being slack about payment. But most of all it was because of the shocking lack of interest my GLORIOUS 1970s gear received. Things are moving slowly at present, much as in every other aspect of my life. Everything is so utterly depressing. All my friends moving away. All 3 of them that is. Living with younger flatmates who are already more confident and able than I ever will be, or perhaps that is the advantage of not yet realising how futile it all is. Undiplomatic as it is, I often wish my parents had been sterilised. How fortunate I am to have been born in an era with unprecedented opportunities to moan. Online, I could vlog, blog or podcast my own special blend of disgruntlement. The jury is out on whether that is any better or worse than using online resources to create wish-fulfilment fiction. I guess before the internet people had moaning hotlines, before that Party lines, and maybe before that they clustered around the radio listening to someone moaning. Lord Haw Haw perhaps. The creative might have tried a few 12 bar blues. Still earlier and they could just libel each other in the paper; what fantastic fun that must have been!
Maybe I need a diversion off-line. One that I can manage even though the early starts I am enduring just compounds my bad moods. So, how about bringing back coded messages in the personals columns in the ODT. The thrill of trying to break the code and get the gossip will liven up my days no end. I may live vicariously because lord knows nothing ever happens to me, except the occasional shouted insult enlivening my walk home. That's usually someone driving by. I can generally hold in my pedestrian rage even in the face of bad Dunedin driving.
Presumably driving in larger cities is of a higher standard than that in Dunedin, so that is one reason to try to get out of here. But then, wouldn't I just be moving to become even more boring and insignificant elsewhere? Is it possible? Could I be more of a depresso hermit than I already am? It's this kind of thought that makes me wish I could be part of a colonising power. Can't make it at home? Go and be superior to another race even while you don't measure up to your own society.

Hurry up, dammit

I have just listed some stuff on trade me. Not up to my best blurb standard, but I have to try to get rid of some of this crap. There it is, waiting for attention, and no-one has even looked at any of the glorious items. Philistines! Tight fisted pillocks! Idiots! Well, I knew that the public didn't understand already, so I don;t know why I would be surprised by this.

Time to stop fixating, better go and do something else.