Airports

Are a great place for people watching. Auckland seemed filled with uncomely honeymooners leading me to fear for our future generations. I confess, sometimes the idea of eugenics both thrills and excites me. When I was trying to heave myself from the domestic terminal to the international one I was stuck behind a footballers’ wives wannabe bint, bitching loudly into her cellphone at some lucky man. Their children, Merlot, Amuretta and Tyrone, will no doubt be more attractive than the ordinary but have a fatal weakness for tanning salons and bleach. I can just imagine them all whining in unison.